Language is the key to connecting with local cultures, so let me teach you the essential phrase in several dialects. In the Kitchen Dialect, you say ‘mrrow’ and stare. In the Hallway Dialect, you say ‘mrrrow’ and lead the person to the bowl.
In the Bedroom Dialect, used at 4 AM, you simply bite an ankle. In the Formal Dialect, spoken only at the front door, you sit very straight and look at the human with a quiet, dignified sorrow.
There are eight more, including the Ancient Mutter, a lost art practiced only by cats over fifteen. Every one of them means feed me. Every one of them works. This is how I travel the world on four sardines.
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